just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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