Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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