Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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