Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
and you fell through a lawn chair
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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