I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I currently don't understand fingers.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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