Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
