and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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