My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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