Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
