i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize