There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize