More tranny stories later!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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