Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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