He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
