dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
