He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i think i just lost a toe
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
