Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
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can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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