I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize