the condom got lost in my hair
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
