She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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