OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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