i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
