One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
