i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
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He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just high enough for therapy.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
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I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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