yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
