im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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