the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think my moral compass just broke
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
