I molested 6 butterflies tonight
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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