problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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