is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
