he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
