and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
