"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
