tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
