I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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