Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
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It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
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Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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