Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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