My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize