i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
