I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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