I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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