hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
