and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
