Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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