Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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