Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
