This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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