Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
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To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
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I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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