hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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