Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
