her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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