she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
