ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize