So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
just found out that she named her cat after me.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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