i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
