i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
