I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
