Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
