it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
