I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
