I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
