LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
