ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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