Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
