I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
