____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
