if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
