i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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