shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
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