So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
