Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Randomize
