Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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