Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
